I Need A Hero
by Jadewing47
Summary: Liv just can't handle it...she just can't. What else was she supposed to do? Talk to someone? Last time she checked, no one loved her anymore. Maybe she really should just give up. It would be so easy... When everyone who Liv thinks hates her realizes her secret. SELF HARM& MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, CAN BE TRIGGERING! IF YOU KNOW THIS TRIGGERS YOU DON'T READ PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

**THIS STORY CONTAINS SELF HARM AND MENTION OF SUICIDE AND CAN BE TRIGGERING. IF YOU KNOW SUCH TOPICS CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. THANKS!**

"You need to leave. _Right now_." The icy tone of my mother's voice and the hatred in her eyes is already bringing tears to mine.

"Please, Mom. Let me be there when Evan wakes up. It kills me that he thinks-"

"You were gonna let him die?" my Mom inturupts. "If Dr. Long hadn't been on duty, if he hadn't shared your blood type-" her steadily rising voice stopped, and she seemed to compose herself a bit. I, however, was trembling. _I couldn't have given him my blood! I would've made him a zombie too!_ "Your brother has gotten your texts, your emails, your voicemails. If he wanted to see you, you'd know," she paused, "It's drugs, isn't it?"

"No, I'm not on drugs." I replied, a tight feeling growing in my chest.

"What, then?" my mother demanded. Sometimes I think about telling her, but I can't. She wouldn't believe me, or she would be afraid and try to kill me or worse.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. You'd try to have me committed, or you'd try to fix things in ways that would only make it all worse. You'd put us all in danger." I say slowly. Before my mother can respond, however, the weak voice of my brother calls out to me.

"Liv?" he croaked. I rushed to his side, sitting on the bed beside him. The ache in my chest from my mother's harsh words and the fact that I couldn't tell her the truth was still there, but it was pushed to the back of my mind. Evan had called for me, _he still loved me._

"Liv?" he croaked again.

"Hey. I'm here." I murmured, relief filling my body.

"Go away. Don't come back." I jerk away as if i had been slapped. There is a massive hole of black darkness and it is swallowing me up.

"I never want to see you ever again! You're not my daughter anymore! Get out of our lives! I wish you were dead!"

* * *

Liv shot into a sitting position in her bed, screaming. Sweat poured down her body, dampening her sheets and pajamas. _It was just a nightmare, just a nightmare._ She told herself. _It wasn't real._

Yet it was. Her mother hadn't actually said those last words, though Liv was certain that if she had stayed instead of running, she would have. Warm tears began to cascade down her cheeks. Her life was ruined. No one loved her anymore. The events from the hospital occurred four months ago. After those horrible days, Liv cut herself off from everyone. She couldn't stand it if another person she cared about decided to leave her, so she left first.

 _You're a monster Liv. It's time you acted like one._

Her relationship with Ravi was complicated. He was her boss, yet also one of her best friends. He knew she was a zombie after catching her snacking on brains in his office. Ravi had become her confident,the one person she could trust, who truly understood. He devoted most of his time trying to find a cure, but Liv didn't care anymore. As far as she was concerned, she was dead. Both literally and mentally. What's the point of a stupid cure if all it would do is change her appetite and appearance? After the day her mother and brother kicked her out, she stopped treating Ravi as her friend, and rather her boss. She avoided him (and all other people) at all costs. She took her food home,rather than enjoying a nice meal of brains while chatting away with him. She did only what he told her to do and none else, just like it should have been. She hardly spoke a word to him.

Was it wrong? Probably.

Was it cruel? Yeah.

But Liv didn't know what else to do. She figured, if she didn't have anyone important in her life, anyone who cared about her, loved her, they would be safe, protected, from her, from a monster.

Ravi tried, multiple times, to figure out what had happened, though Liv refused to speak.

 _(Flashback)_

 _"Liv! Please, can you just tell me what's wrong?"_

 _I didn't reply._

 _"Liv, PLEASE. Tell me, what did I do? I can fix it! I promise!"_

 _I saw the tears in his eyes, and I'm sure he saw mine, but I knew if I opened my mouth I would crack._

 _"Liv? I, uh, I know you hate me right now. I uh, I really, really wish I knew what's wrong, I want to fix it. Please just let me."_

 _(End of flashback)_

* * *

Major hated her. Liv couldn't talk to him even if she wanted to. She ruined his life, all because she was just a selfish little prick. She hated herself. Major hated her. Evan hated her. Her mom hated her. Even Ravi probably hated her by now.

Maybe she should die.

* * *

Peyton still hasn't came back yet.

* * *

Clive seems perfectly fine working without her.

* * *

Liv picks up the knife.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time she picks up a knife, her stomach hurts. Its a bright silver and huge, glinting in the light provided by string lights Liv never unplugged. Peyton had always loved them. Liv studies it, seeing it from all different angles until she feels nauseous. _Am I really considering this?_ Blinking, she hurls the knife away from her. It embeds itself into the wall. She rushes to the bathroom, kneeling over the toilet and dry-heaves. Nothing happens. Monster, remember?

This process goes on for two weeks until she no longer has any kitchen knives. The wall across from the counter has 30 different knives. Some are large kitchen knives, some are butter knives. It doesn't matter, they all can cut. This time Liv finds a box of razor blades in the cabinet. She pulls one out and studies it. This time she doesn't feel nauseous, just numb.

o0o

Liv wears long sleeves just in case. She can't actually hurt herself or bleed that much, but she can cut to the bone without pain, and it will be gone in a few hours. A clean slate for her to do it again. Something stirred within her, and as the next cut reveals bone, she smirks. Rolling her sleeves down, she places a few blades in her pocket for work. She wraps them in toilet paper so no one will see the shape. Ravi has been staring at her too much. It makes her zombie-side itch to be free.


End file.
